We were told when we were engaged to never use Always and Never statements because this can be damaging to a person when they hear; you are always busy or you never pick up your dirty underwear. But in the case of Never Expected; Always Appreciated, the two words fit perfectly and definitely don't offend.
I made us lunches for the whole week and I felt so accomplished because this is a unicorn, very very rare. I felt incredibly great that I had done this. Mat was so happy and he said these words, "This is so awesome babe, I want you to know that this is never expected but always appreciated." Do you know how wonderful it is to hear he doesn't expect things like that from me but when I do them he will always appreciate them? He says this every so often when I do the unexpected for him. It makes me blush writing about it and it gives me butterflies. Speaking of butterflies here's Mat with a butterfly, he's just the cutest.
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| Mat, the man I do it all for and the man who does it all. |
I do not know what I would possibly do without him. I like to think I'm a strong independent person who can do anything and everything, which is true, I can. But I can only do it because I have him by my side. It's an interesting concept and I wish it all made more sense on paper but hear me out. Mat is my crutch, I lean on him when I need support and feel like I can no longer support myself and when I need him he is there. Without him beside me, being my constant reminder that I can do anything, I probably wouldn't feel like doing anything. But I do it all for him. Recently he was told he was putting school as his top priority and that he was wrong in doing so. This angered me beyond words because it really hurt him and I haven't really said much about the subject cause there is no point in arguing with it when we both knew it was blasphemy.
I am Mat's top priority, how do I know that?
Because he somehow still manages to put away the dishes when he's got an exam the next day. Because he doesn't complain when I put a frozen pizza in the oven for dinner or bring home Subway. Because he remembers to switch the laundry over when I've forgotten. Because he spends his extra seconds cleaning the drain in the shower (disgusting). Because every day this winter he's spent 5 minutes scraping the snow off my car and starting it up when its zero degrees outside when he could be studying. Because he spends countless hours studying and reviewing and asking questions and listening to lectures I know I'm his top priority because of this.
He shows me he loves me when he helps me fall asleep. He shows me he loves me by studying so hard. He shows me he loves me by the words he uses. He shows me he loves me by appreciating everything I do. He shows me he loves me by showing up and standing right beside me.
He's the best to me and I'm lucky he's all mine.
Mat is busy, crazy busy with school, but every spare second he has he spends it loving me and taking care of himself mentally and physically. Which is funny to think he even has enough time to do all he does with the amount of time he spends studying. But without him taking care of his own physical and mental health he wouldn't be able to thrive as much as he does. We, together, worked so hard to get Mat into medical school, even just getting accepted is incredibly competitive and stressful. Since he is now in school you bet your bottom dollar that he is going to work his butt off to get the best scores and to have a solid understanding of the material. And he is doing a freaking awesome job! He is going to prove to those that accepted him that he was a good choice. He's gonna score a perfect on one of his finals because he studied so dang hard (true story he did). We aren't going to put someone else's expectations of him before his own goals. He worked hard to get into medical school and he's going to prove that he can succeed.
So when someone feels like questioning Mat's priorities and saying he needs to readjust them; they are out of line. Don't come after him like he's not doing everything he can right now. We both are. We are taking care of what we need to at this time in our lives. We are working hard and enjoying our life together so that later on when we have the time and money we have a solid relationship and foundation that we get to enjoy our time together even more. Guess what, we are kind of exhausted and have no energy to argue with you about his priorities. Also its none of your business. When you love a person, you work hard together to accomplish each other's goals. And that is exactly what we're doing. So if you have something to say about it, keep it to yourselves. We aren't surviving, we are thriving. The two of us are happy, that's not to say everything is perfect, because I hate that word and because it is so very far from perfect. But we are happy and kind to others and that's all that truly matters. Mat putting school and studying as his top priority does mean he is putting me as his top priority. If I don't have a problem with it, neither should you.
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| And here we are enjoying the free time we had during Christmas on our cruise, Grand Turk! |
Mat, thank you for everything, my life would be incomplete if I didn't have you. You are the most selfless caring person I know. What you do is never expected but always appreciated. I love you.
